Sunday, November 7, 2010

Parenting Decisions and family changes.

It's a work in progress, but today we've made a few steps forward.  Of course, I'm sure that by tonight we'll have made at least one step back.  

Yesterday, Heath and I talked about how we're going to parent.  Heath pointed out, and it's true, that we do already limit much of what our son is exposed to.  Come on, he is just three.  However, we discussed how we're going to move forward with all subjects out there.  We realize we can't ignore the whole sex thing.  I mean, right now we can, but as he gets to be a teenager Harper will know about sex whether we like it or not.  That means that I will Heath will have to talk to him about what it is, what it means, and when it's appropriate.  Most importantly though, we'll have to talk to him about why it's appropriate.  

My parents were great parents.  Really.  There's so much I admire about them, and so much I see in them that I want to replicate with my kids.  One thing I definitely want to change though, is the why question.  Let me first say, I really love my Dad.  However, my Dad--wonderful a parent as he is--often used that "Because I said so," phrase with me.  I really hated that.  It didn't make any sense then, and it doesn't make any sense now.  

I know I'll probably be eating my words later, but I really don't want to do that with Harper.  I think he deserves to know why we're "strict" with him.  My parents were quite strict with me as a child, and I never understood why.  I resisted it.  Now that I'm older, it makes sense; they were trying to protect me.  However, I think that because I never understood, I always resented it.  Perhaps if they'd have explained why they made their decisions, I might have agreed.  Then again, maybe not.  I was a teenager after all.  And I think a teensy bit of rebellion was just in my nature.  

Another thing I want to make sure I address with Harper: I want to make sure that we're replacing things he's not allowed to do with fun things that he is allowed to do.  He's not going to be able to go to some parties, see some movies, etc...  But hopefully, if we can both explain and replace those things with better, more wholesome things (family activities like bowling, hiking, camping, amusement parks, etc...), Harper won't think it's that bad.  

Oh, my other bit of exciting news is this: We went to church this morning!  It's a part of our doing-family-friendly-things-and-living-better goal.  I realize church isn't for everyone, and that's ok.  For me though, it used to be a big part of my life.  I sang in the band, helped in the nursery, went on the missions trip, all that jazz.  Well, then life happened, and I just...kind of...stopped going to church.  With the exception of a few visits here and there, I haven't gone back.  

There's a great church in Slidell that we've tried multiple times.  We really like it, and I think we're going to make some roots there.  After all, we are stuck her in Louisiana for (a little less than!) 2 years; we might as well make the best of it.  To go along with making roots in church, and in light of my recent health scares, God and I have made a deal.  That might sort of be against the rules, but it's ok.  He helped me to, you know, not be dying, and in return, I'm going to be a better...uh, kid of his.  I'm going to do more.  I'm going to be closer.  I'm actually going to talk to him.  Translation: I'm going to pray.  I'm going to read the bible.  I'm going to do things that I should be doing as a Christian already (plugging in a church, not less scowling and sometimes internally cursing at the...people who cut me off in traffic, etc...)

Well, that's all my news for now.  I think I shall do some holiday shopping today.  I'd love to get done with Christmas shopping now!  Haha, yeah right.

How is your weekend?  Oh, don't forget guys, time change started today.  Fall back!  Yay for theoretical extra sleep!


  1. Yay for you guys! You are doing an awesome job I think. Did you go to that church where the Harpers and Chip went? I enjoyed it there when I went that one time.

  2. My parents were strict with me also and although I hated it as a teenager I know appreciate what they did for me. I have a feeling I will also be a pretty strict parent. But I like your ideas of explaining why and replacing it with family friendly activities. Glad you enjoyed church!