Sunday, October 31, 2010

...It's because I'm fat.

Hey guys.  It's been a week and a day since I last posted.  I've had so much going on that it's really hard to catch my breath.  I'm not ready to share all of it (I honestly don't know if I'll ever be ready...), but I can tell you a little bit about my week.  

It has been a blur of doctors appointments and school for me.  This is the part I'm not totally ready to discuss with you guys.  Honestly, I don't know all of the details myself.  I will say this though, if any of you pray please pray for my health.  What I can share is this, I had an ultrasound a few months back, and apparently I've got a cyst on my ovary.  It's really not that big a deal, but last week when they rechecked the ultrasound and did some blood work I found out I'm anemic.  Again, the anemia isn't that big of a deal.  I mean, I don't eat meat, so it's not really a surprise that I've got low iron.  Plus, I've kind of been hovering on the edge of anemia since I was a young teenager.  The thing I don't want to mention....well, I don't want to mention it.  It's the thing I don't know about yet.  I have yet another ultrasound and more blood work later this month to figure things out.  Hopefully I get good answers soon, because I'm kind of freaking out.  I know this is awfully rotten of me, but trust me, when I get my results, I will be posting about what's happened.  And I will let yall know what the results were.  I should know something tomorrow though.  

That said, these health concerns of mine have caused me to really rethink what I'm doing to my body.  I'm going to be totally candid with you guys.  Right now Last month I weighed more than I ever have before.  Here are my numbers:

Height: 5'4

Pre-pregnancy weight: 140
Pre-pregnancy size: 12

Post-pregnancy weight: 165-180
Post-pregnancy size: 14

Weight: 185
Size: 16

Weight: 245
Size: 18

I'm ashamed to say that this is me.  I have really "let myself go."  In the last month or so, however, I have been working out a little more and attempting to eat better.  Though I was doing slightly better than before, I still have to admit that it wasn't a fully heartfelt attempt.  Well, All that changed this week when I went to my doctors appointments.  I've thrown myself into eating healthier.  I've upped the working out as much as possible.  It's still not enough, but I can only do what I have time to do.  

I went to the grocery store and bought basically one of everything from the produce section.  Ok, not really.  But I did buy a good bit of fresh produce, in addition to other healthy goodies.  I can happily say that I've lost between 6 or 7 pounds at least.  It seems to have all been lost from my boobs, but whatever.  Any loss is good loss, right?  

So, that was last week, and all I can do now is pray and move forward with whatever happens.  So, if yall pray, please pray for me.  

Oh, I'm hoping to blog a Halloween post soon.  :)  That should be much less stressful.  


  1. My love, no matter what the issue, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Since I have already read the follow up post, I know that your tests came back good. I am sorry I have been such a rotten friend and not kept up with your blog.
    First off, I know you can do anything you put your mind to, no matter how corny this sounds. You, I believe, have had an AHHA moment and now all you can do is work forward. Its a long road but we can do it together. I am here for you, though many miles away, no matter what the issue (or happiness).
    You know, I went through an HIV test scare about a year before I met Joe (so about 2005). My heart stopped when the doctor told me that she was concerned. Thank God it wasn't that and I was able to move on. But I completely understand first hand what you had to have been going through. And I am Thanking God right now that everything is OK with you!
    Keep your head up! Us women need to stay strong not only for our family but obviously ourselves as well. All my love!

  2. Oh Danielle, I'm so sorry about your health concerns. You'll be in my thoughts! I hope it all turns out well!