Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Military families and "fitting in"

I keep coming back to this thought about fitting in, in that I don't. Don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to have a pity party for myself. I'm not saying to myself, "Poor me! No one likes me!" I just, I never feel like I fit in.

Like right now for example, I go to school, talk to classmates. I do as much as I can for my son and my husband once I get home. I care for my pets. Though I cannot live near them, I talk to my immediate family often and keep good relationships with all of them. But...there's something missing. I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. How do I explain...? Ok, for instance: I've read a few other blogs, and they're just so...full. These people live. They really live. They have full lives, not just full of STUFF to do (haha, that's not a problem here, I've got plenty of that) but full of PEOPLE who care about them and want to spend time with them. I don't feel like I live; I don't feel like I have the time to live. I can't keep relationships with friends. I mean, I've got a close group of people (husband, sisters, mom, some long distance friends), that I keep in touch with, but it's just not the same as face to face relationships.

I'm not saying I want friends just for the sake of having someone to hang out with. I'm fully aware that I'm someone who doesn't really make friends easily. And in many ways, it would be easier to just suck it up and not make friends at all until we move again. After all, we've only got 2 more years in Louisiana, then it's off to a new place where this whole cycle starts over again. Even if I do make friends, will it matter...? And, not that I'm excuse making (ok, so maybe I am a little), but the Coast Guard makes it a little difficult to make family friends who can sympathize with our situation. There's no base housing for the Coast Guard. We're all spread out, no one knows anyone else, there's never really any family socialization that goes on, so all the spouses are left to kind of tread water on their own. I wish the Coast Guard had a welcome committee. Lol, is that crazy? I mean, it would just be nice to have a contact, another military spouse, who's lived here for a while, knows the other spouses and family members and can get people in touch. I know the Coasties probably wouldn't be interested, but maybe if they did a once monthly morale event, 1 kid friendly and 1 for adults (they could alternate every month). It could be little things like bowling, a potluck picnic type thing.....just SOMETHING to get us all together so we can find like-minded people: people who understand only living some place for a few years, having to make new friends all the time, essentially living out of a suitcase whenever the military says so.....all that jazz.


  1. girl you should check out http://www.coastiechicks.net. It's awesome! There is a forum section. I'm still on there even though I'm not one anymore. :) hope it helps!

  2. I totally know how you feel! I have friends here and there but I don't have a friend that I call everyday and can chat about anything and everything to. I don't have that girlfriend who I laugh with or have long stories about. I just have friends from different bases but never seem to latch on to someone in particular.

    It does help if your base has family events that you can go and meet people. I am fortunate that our base here does do a lot of activities.

    Best of luck and hang in there. :-)

  3. Thank you. :) Unfortunately, CG doesn't typically have base housing like other branches though, so it's a bit harder to get in touch with other families. I really should get more involved in family events though. I think in the 2 years we've lived in NOLA they've had 2 such events. Haha, maybe next year I can go.